TIFF 2012 REVIEW: HELLBENDERS
(Midnight
Madness)
(USA, 2012)
Cast: Clancy Brown, Dan Fogler, Macon
Blair, Clifton Collins Jr., Robyn Rikoon
Written by: JT Petty
Directed by: JT Petty
This would-be orgy of blasphemy, making
its World Premiere at TIFF, is essentially “Ghostbusters” with foul-mouthed,
whoremongering drunken priests and naked demonesses, with a good deal less
spent in the special FX department (even by the comparatively lower budgets
spent on Reagan-era spectacles). Like a
Lady Gaga video, it seems a bit too desperately engineered to end up on the Vatican's "condemned" list, but mostly, it's just another
comedy where everyone on set seems to be having a lot of fun, with
disproportional translation to the audience, making for a long 85 minutes...
The titular “Hellbenders”, are, in
fact, “The Hellbound Saints of Brooklyn Parish”, who are the ones “you’re gonna
call” when the likes of Father Merrin fail miserably.
To be ordained into their
bong-water-and-piss-stained inner sanctum, one must be a sinner of the highest
(or would that be lowest?). As embodied
by their leader Angus (Clancy Brown), the more sins one has committed (all
seven, ideally), the better equipped to confront and defeat evil on its vilest
own terms.
The other saints include married,
conflicted Larry (Colins, Jr.), bookish apprentice Stephen (Royo,
"Bubbles" from "The Wire") who chronicles The Saints' epic
transgressions, hard-drinking Saint Elizabeth (Rikoon), and "Balls Of Fury"s Dan Fogler
as the requisite funny-fat-guy whose character barely registers (and sits out
the entire climax).
When the Saints are called to a
tenement for what seems to be a routine exorcism, one of them becomes possessed
by a particularly vile Norse demon who will stop at nothing less than world
domination and the End Of Times. That
is, if the persnickety Catholic Church bureaucrat (read: "Walter
Peck"), under instructions from the new Pope, doesn't shut them down first...
Produced by Circle
of Confusion and OffHollywood Pictures, and
directed with much enthusiasm by JT Petty, the film intrigues with a lively
setup, but doesn’t go anywhere particularly interesting after the first
act. Petty’s earlier films, the
monster-western “The Burrowers”, and the straight-to-video “Mimic 3”, were far
more inventive visually. Here’s there’s
an over-reliance on master shots and gloppy makeups. Apparently, this is a straight adaptation of
Petty’s own graphic novel, which I’ve never read nor encountered on shelves…
The always-welcome Clancy Brown tears
into the role of Angus, and walks away with most of the script’s best lines,
most of them unprintable here.
Surprisingly, the film was shot,
deliberately, with 3D technology, but it benefits in no way whatsoever by
exploiting the Z axis, with minimal--nay, zero--effect here.
Film Arcade will release Hellbenders theatrically in the North America in 2013.
©Robert J. Lewis 2012
